Betrayal Trauma: Symptoms, Effects and Recovery

In any good story, there is a point where the plot takes an unexpected turn. Perhaps the main character who was assumed to be the protagonist turns out to be the villain. Maybe it becomes apparent that the narrator’s voice is unreliable, causing a major shift in the way the plot is understood. A story that was understood to be a love story turns out to be a dystopian fantasy.

Our lives are made up of stories. Stories about who we are, who we are connected to, our value, our purpose. As humans, we are meaning-making beings, and our ability to understand our story, and our place in it, provides a basis for the decisions we make, the risks we take, and the way we navigate the challenges of life. As social beings, we co-create our stories with others. Family relationships are based on stories of caregiving and belonging. Marriages are built on stories of love and commitment. Community and institutional relationships are based on stories of collaboration and mutual support.

Betrayal trauma is a devastating plot twist that upends the story we thought we were living, disrupting our sense of self, safety, and connection to others.

“Betrayal trauma occurs when people or institutions on which a person depends for survival (physical, emotional, relational, financial, etc.) significantly violate that person’s trust or well-being.” 
– Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD

What is Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma can happen in intimate partner relationships, caregiver/child relationships, friendships and communities, institutions (church, workplace, healthcare), and any other context in which there is a dependent relationship.

Just as it is disorienting to fundamentally misunderstand the genre of the book you are reading mid-story, it is equally disorienting and devastating to experience betrayal and realize that someone or something in which you placed your trust has deeply mishandled it.

Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma

Symptoms of betrayal trauma often look like the symptoms of complex trauma:

• Rumination, flashbacks to the discovery of the betrayal, hypervigilance, and a lack of trust in oneself and others
• Avoidance through dissociation, numbing, or substance use
• Loss of a sense of self
• Physical complaints such as sleep disruption, appetite changes, and physical vigilance
• Feelings of dysregulation, or feeling “out of control”
• Anger/Rage
• Hopelessness
• Betrayal blindness, an active or passive denial of the betrayal that has occurred

Betrayal Trauma Treatment and Recovery

Just as with complex trauma, there is hope for healing and peace after betrayal. With the support of a trained, trauma-focused therapist, it is possible not only to recover from betrayal trauma but to experience post-traumatic growth on the other side of it.

Through the use of creative and experiential approaches, trauma therapy can support you as you understand the extent of the impact, grieve the losses connected to the betrayal, access personal and interpersonal strength and safety, and develop a new vision for your new reality.

If you’re navigating betrayal trauma, we would love to connect you with one of our therapists to support you. Contact the Phoenix Center for Experiential Trauma Therapy to learn more about our trauma therapy services, schedule a consultation, or explore how our team can support you.